Road to College                                        
 
                               They Said I Couldn’t Make It

             Ridicule, inside his bruised chest is what he felt

            He’d spend hours playing on the mahogany earth searching for a little word called happiness

            And yet the burning, intense hatred from his aunt emotionally crushed his feeble heart.

            But how could a human posses such hatred in her devious mind?

Yet no one influenced her devious and narcissistic acts as queen but only her cruel self.

            Including banishing poor Sogolon and her mother out of the palace.

However, a shift occurred, a sudden pause, that certain element that was missing

            But what element/emotion was the Mali boy missing inside him?

It was the tasteful and bright expression of hope that he found while he was banished.

That beautiful, vivid expression of hope gave him the strength that led him to walk on his only two legs. 
  And with tears in her eyes, she was joyed and overwhelmed when he later presented her with the babaob tree

            He turned the ache of ridicule and brute hatred and through self-confidence and hope he turned into a jeweled success story of a Mali king.

daniel
2/4/2011 12:32:43 am

It had a great representation of the feelings in Sundiata while also cleverly alluding in the poem.

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Ms. Miller
2/24/2011 03:54:16 am

I'd give this a 100% since it fully summarizes the Sundiata story and uses vivid adjectives. However, I think that at times, the poem sounds artificially descriptive and forced, as if you haphazardly threw in the adjectives without thinking about how it sounds.

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